i honestly have the worst luck ever.

i wish you didnt tell me you liked me.

i wish i never knew.

i’m going to go drown my self in alcohol for st. patricks day now.

awesome.

i take nyquil & melatonin and still… nothing.

my heads to cluttered for relaxation. 

words can not even begin to describe how close i feel to you.  we have only been bestfriends for a short amount of time but i can safely say it feels like forever.  these last few weeks i feel even closer to you. when i’m drowning in my own thoughts you are always the lifeguard saving me. whether you are just listening or giving me advice you always know whats best.  when i moved to new jersey i had trouble for years finding someone i could connect with. yes, i found friends who would listen but they wouldnt listen without judging. you are truly the only one who knows what i go through and doesnt think i am insane. i am so thankful to have you. this sounds so cheesey and generic but i mean it with all my heart. i love you nick.

melt me- black moth super rainbow

today: i woke up feeling so sick and had a slight fever but i maned up and went to school anyways. i’m finally starting to get into hamlet in english. took forever. i came home and made homemade cupcakes because i was in the baking mood. hence my flour whiskerzzzz. then while waiting for them to cool i went into the living room and sat in the sun and ended up falling asleep. i love the warmth of the sun. mmmm. then justin called me and woke me up saying him and nick were at my house. i stumbled outside and we drew all over my driveway with my sidewalk chalk. im having an mediocre day despite your nonsense. sucks for. oooh, olivias calling. bye.

today: i had a lot of confidence today. im not sure why. i havent had that in a while. bet it was those new rainboots of mine. they must be magical. i was so tired in school today though. i didnt get much sleep last night. i can smell you on my pillows. vybfduijs. so yeah. uhm. i went to my fashion club meeting since im on the executive board. we’re designing things for the school store. nick took me home and i texted him until i fell asleep for alittle nap. now im just up in my room talking to my bestfriend. i miss her so so soooo much. please, someone help me kidnap her and bring her here. anyways, tonights going to be a quiet night. i dont feel good so i’ll probably just take nyquil and pass out soon.

when i was little i was obsessed with drawing whales.

1. i dont like you one bit. really just stop. youre an embarrassment. 

2. i dont feel like you even want to talk to me in school anymore. you have way more important things.

3. i am really starting to feel like you didnt mean it. rygbfueni. i dont know. im just so confused. i need to know if you really like me or if  it was just a hookup. for the fourth time…

4. thank you for always texting me and talking to me. even if half of our conversations are bizarre. i love you bestfriend.

5. move to new jersey. i miss you so much.